Funny about Money

Five Budget Busters

Oh My Aching Debts has issued a PF Blogger’s challenge to list our five biggest budget breakers. Here are mine:

House

Having trained myself to stay out of Home Depot and Lowe’s except for very targeted purposes, the unending house costs are under control. More or less. But all it takes is one good-sized expense to blow the budget. This month, for example, I had to pay about $250 for the annual HVAC inspection and service contract renewal on the units at my house and the Investment House. It’s not going to break me up in business, but because the first air-conditioning weather will arrive this month, it could put a strain on the budget. Especially since I have a big hit in the next budget-breaking category.

Dog

The aged German shepherd is a constant drain on the budget. Her thyroid meds run $30 a month, one eye med is $60 a pop, the other is about $40 for a tiny vial. Dog food is $30 per bag, plus meat or canned fish to cajole her to eat the stuff. And last week she had such a severe episode of pain I had to put up friends to help lift her into the car and drag her to the vet, who had to interrupt surgery to treat her. The cortisone shot worked. But the vet didn’t even have the heart to tell me how much it cost. I expect to have to dip into the emergency fund to cover that little misadventure.

Hair

Cutting off the low-maintenance mid-back-length hair, donating it to charity, and getting a cute low-maintenance short style was a good thing to do. After a certain age, a woman with long hair starts to look a little strange. You go from getting what-is-she-trying-to-prove stares to fishy poor-white-trash looks. Shop clerks assume (correctly) you can’t afford to get your hair styled and either won’t wait on you or, when forced to do so, look down their noses at you.

I love the snappy hair style and I love the fact that strangers have started treating me politely again. But it’s expensive. You don’t get a no-blow-dry, no-curling-iron style that looks good at just any Supercuts. It takes a killer stylist to do a short style that looks good, stays looking good for some weeks, and doesn’t make you look like you wish you were one of the boys. Such artists don’t come cheap. Day before yesterday I had to get my hair cut. Shane has raised his price again: with tip, I shelled out $75. That’s just for a hair cut: no color, no perm, no nothing else.

Now we’re at $250 for the air conditioner, $75 for the hair, and God only knows what for the vet. At this point we know I’m over budget, but the scary thing is, we don’t know by how much because the vet is scared to tell me. And I’m scared to ask.

Costco

There’s only one way to survive a Costco run with your budget intact: wear blinders.

As long as I take a list and stick to it, Costco saves me a lot of money. Stocking up on a month’s worth of food and lifetime supplies of staples, personal care, and cleaning goods keeps me out of grocery stores. The result is significant savings in food and household bills.

However, “stick to it” is…well, the sticking point. Costco lines its aisles with things you never imagined you needed so much as you think you need them when you see them. Last time I went to Costco I bought the recent biography of John Adams, five No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency novels, a posthumous collection of Kurt Vonnegut’s amazingly minor writings, a floating swim pool chair with built-in cups to hold one’s gin and tonic, and three pairs of swimming goggles (hey! these are things no one should be without!!!). The time before, I bought a $45 dress that doesn’t fit.

Today, whenever I get up from in front of the computer monitor, I will return the dress. Meanwhile, the ninety bucks or so for the other ephemera will come out of this month’s budget. The budget is $325 – $45 + 90 (= $370) in the hole. Plus an unknown veterinary bill.

Plants

My weakness is flowers and herbs. I can’t pass a box of bulbs without buying a fistful of them. I live for the roses to bloom. I justify the oregano, marjoram, tarragon, parsley, basil, thyme, mint, sage, rosemary, lavender, and heaven only knows what else is growing in the yard on the grounds that I use them in cooking. And those inexpensive, wildly colorful glazed Thai pots at Home Depot…to die for!

Trouble with container gardening is that containers require potting soil ($) and fertilizer ($) and, once the heat reaches about 98 degrees (which it will do today, and where it will stay until the end of September), daily watering ($$$). Trouble with ground gardening is that flowerbeds call out to you to fill them with more flowers. Every season.

Luckily we have only two seasons in Arizona: summer and winter. But what grows in the winter dies instantly on a single fricaseeing day in April. And what grows in the summer turns to black Jell-O when the first light freeze comes in.

These factors make a Home Depot junket an exercise in Herculean will power. This year I’ve managed to keep the gardening impulse under control: I haven’t purchased one new rose (only because I’ve run out of space to plant roses); not one new plant pot; and only a few herbs, two tomatoes, a handful of bulbs, and a couple of packets of wildflower seeds.

But…the year is young, and so is the budget.

Fellow Busted Budgeters (that I’ve spotted so far):

Mrs. Micah

Bible Money Matters

Mommy Gets Paid

categories: budgeting

Sunday, April 13, 2008

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